Trust & Love

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart 
And do not lean on your own understanding. 
In all your ways acknowledge Him, 
And He will make your paths straight.”

~Proverbs 3:5-6      

                 

Today, as with many days, I need this passage.  While I am enjoying my time in the Middle East, part of me feels as if I am just here.  In a way, my life here doesn’t seem much different than it is in America.  Well, with a few minor differences, more on that later.  I don’t know what I was expecting by coming to a foreign country for three months for an internship and maybe that is why I have these feelings right now. 

feel like there is so much going on, that I find myself distracted and unable to focus on just one aspect around me. For instance, since I am in the “Holy Land” for the first time I want to travel and see EVERYTHING I can before I leave, sans the crowds of tourists.  I also want to understand all sides of this conflict and hear people’s stories and there are SO many stories to hear.  And then there is the practical experience and research that I want to accomplish while being here for a short 3 months.  As I sit here researching grants and writing proposals, I know that I am gaining experience that I will use in the future, but part of me wonders “what am I missing? What else could I see right now?”   

As my mom always points out to me, the Lord has you right where he wants you.  It’s just so difficult for a curious person like me to sit here and be patient and wait for him to guide me.  I will say that the people that I have “stumbled” upon here are definitely divinely sent…our paths were meant to cross.  I just need to remember that as long as I have faith and I do not try to control my destiny, all will be as planned.  As I sit here right now, in Al-Ram, studying the art of peace through an organization who is trying to rebuild a community destroyed by a wall separating families, it amazes me how they are able to focus on improving the environmental conditions they live in and providing opportunities 

for their community. 

The Dalai Lama says that, “if you don't love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.”  Although I often doubt myself, I must embrace myself, so that I can embrace others with love and compassion, as they so often do for me!  As I have learned in my classes, you should never assume that you know more than the people you are going to work with or assist.  This statement is so true of Palestine.  Although many of the people that I have met here have never lived in a country without conflict, their strength, their love, and their kindness that they have shared with me has helped me through these days where I feel lost.